I've been writing filk since at least the 1990s. Some of it was ephemeral, and posted to my university's Usenet group, monash.test. A lot of it was forgettable, and, fortunately, forgotten. Some of it stuck.

Most of these creations haven't been recorded (Pooper Scooper and Old Dead Modem Blues are exceptions). This album will chronicle these ephemera as I commit them to belated permanence.

Big Boat Stuck (2025)

Words and music by Deborah Pickett
Licence: CC-BY

The tragically online will remember the week-long saga of the Ever Given, a container ship that managed to get itself wedged in the Suez Canal during March 2021. The hashtag #BigBoatStuck quickly became the catchcry on the Fediverse for hot takes and memes. It was a welcome distraction for so many of us stuck at home during the Covid-19 pandemic and became an unlikely bonding event.

In May 2025, the cargo ship NCL Salten failed to turn at the end of a fjord near the Norwegian city of Trondheim and ran aground, narrowly missing a house on the shore. #BigBoatStuck quickly trended again.

This song happened quickly, from inception to completion in only four days. After the NCL Salten incident, a mutual joked that some monkey with a ukulele would be along with a song about the boat any moment, and I realized with dawning wonder and horror that I was that monkey. I rushed to complete recording before the ship was freed, but the plucky tugboats got the job done a day before I did.

I've deliberately kept the production for this song raw, with a(n almost) single take for the ukulele part and the vocals, and no quantization and not much pitch correction. The focus is the silly lyrics, which I'm quite proud of. (Spot the easter egg in verse 5!)

Instruments used: Makala soprano ukulele, Lee Oskar diatonic harmonica.

Recall when the pandemic
Had been on about a year?
I don’t mean the polemic
But the thing that brought us near
It helped us to restore our pluck
Rejuvenate our cheer
I mean, of course, the big boat stuck
A memory to revere

There’s trouble in the Suez
Claustrophobia for real
Between the shore and you is
Ninety thousand tons of steel
Don’t let yourself be thunderstruck
Both hands upon the wheel!
We’d hate to get the big boat stuck
So keep an even keel

Perhaps you want to turn about
(A thing you might desire)
Be cautious, on your best lookout
Lest all your plans backfire
We had to ship our stuff by truck
Our straits were truly dire
And all the while the big boat stuck
A maritime quagmire

Now everyone should be aboard
The dangers of daydreams
When sailing a Norwegian fjord
It’s harder than it seems
Another ship has run amok
They’ve even got livestreams!
I’m glad we’ve got the big boat stuck
To generate new memes

Now you might think you’re clever
And that you won’t run aground
But nothing lasts for ever
Given time enough you’re bound
To think that you can save a buck
Forgoing that depth-sound
You’re beached as, with your big boat stuck
That gulf’s not so profound

We won’t be acting captain
On a sandbar unforeseen
And we won’t end up trapped in
An imploding submarine
And we won’t have to test our luck
In hotel quarantine
We’ll always have the big boat stuck
Some things are evergreen

Brillo, Spit-Brillo (2024)

Music by Arthur Sullivan
Words by Deborah Pickett
Licence: CC-BY

I find my partially-completed song parodies in the oddest places. “Brillo, Spit-Brillo” surfaced when I was cleaning out IMAP notes on my self-hosted email server. It was dated 2016 and there was only one verse. In 2024 I added the remaining two verses and completed the story of a poor squire forced to polish their useless knight’s suit of armour with steel wool day and night.

Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado is a much-loved operetta from 1885, set in a Western parody of Imperial Japan. By today’s standards it’s problematic, but as a satire it isn’t too different from what The Onion might create these days.

The most well-known musical number from the Mikado would have to be the Lord High Executioner’s patter song “As some day it may happen”, more popularly remembered as “I’ve Got a Little List”, which has certainly had its share of filk covers over the years. Almost as well known is the poignant love song “(Willow,) Tit-Willow” sung by Ko-Ko to the object of his unrequited love, Katisha. My song title came purely from playing with rhymes until I found something suitably silly, and everything else snowballed.

Recording “Brillo, Spit-Brillo” became a possibility when I found a scan of the original Gilbert and Sullivan orchestral score for the operetta. I wanted to try out some new solo orchestral virtual instruments I’d bought, and assembled a complete ensemble of about a dozen instruments.

Instruments used: SWAM Solo Strings, SWAM Solo Woodwinds, SWAM Solo Brass.

When they ask how I get my knight’s armour to gleam,
I say “Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.”
He parades round the courtyard, his plate a sunbeam,
That’s my Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.
Does he need it for more than to wear in the keep?
Would it hurt him to know that I scrub in my sleep?
And I toss and I turn and awake with a leap,
Crying, “Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.”

Now I’m steeled to continue this daft masquerade,
Buying Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.
I expectorate, then every surface abrade,
With more Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.
All these extra expenses were making me skint,
Till I stumbled upon the back door of the mint,
I can take what I want and leave no fingerprint,
Thanks to Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.

He commands your regard with his radiant smile;
Is it Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo?
You can see where he stands for at least half a mile:
It’s the Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.
When he stood, unadvisedly, on the rampart,
Took an enemy archer’s bolt straight to the heart!
So I’m taking my fortune to make a new start,
With my Brillo, spit-Brillo, spit-Brillo.